My Homework Assignment.
I have been speaking with a friend, she wants me to do two things, work on a retirement plan and create a medicine wheel listing my health/soul concerns. She told me a number of stories about people who die shortly after retiring. This kind of bothered me, I have thought about many things, but dying is not one of them. This is how a medicine wheel works:
Spirit - My spirit is good, I am a positive person, my beliefs are strong and I am comfortable with myself. I do not feel depressed and I feel I have social worth. I am loved and I am loved. I do not worry about day-to-day living and I have confidence in my abilities to continue moving forward into retirement years. My only fear is losing those close to me as time marches forward, I like my family and friends, I have lost a few throughout the years, and I do not want to lose any more. I have been blessed with great people in my life.
Science is my religion. Einstein, (a fellow much brighter than me), once said something like, “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”
Body - My self-image is a bit rough right now. I have not been shopping for almost 2 years. I have been working from home and have not ventured out that often due to Covid fears. My joints ache and my limbs feel stiff. I have not done very much exercise, I have eaten fairly healthy, but my exercise is lacking. I have also been smoking more than my usual 1 or 2 cigarettes a day. My usual wild time is Friday night, which brings half a bottle of wine, a slice and a half of pizza, and a few smiles as my darling and I review the week that was.
Mind - I am confident that my mental faculties are intact, but I do notice a certain amount of anger which I attribute to Covid. I get angry with my managers, who just won’t follow my direction, anti vaxers for being soooo very stupid. I am angry at others who, unlike me, did not choose a cautious life, but instead shot for the Moon, but missed. Many of them were judgmental of me playing it safe. They called me lazy and dull. In truth I was afraid, and I still am. I was not very good at talking with people when I was young, I am much better now.
Emotions- I do feel stress and anxiety. I am stressed by my elderly mother who has Alzheimer's and is wasting away in a nursing home. She was such a kind woman. My father, a very kind man, did not deserve to die a lingering painful death by cancer. My wonderful little sister who just never seemed to have enough luck to get out of poverty and welfare’s, python-like, grasp. She raised three children, for the most part on her own. My stress is more like guilt for being able to become so average. Am I dominated by anger or sadness? I am a happy person for the most part, and I feel guilty about it; but happy just the same.
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